Books aren't always as serious as people think that they are. They can be just as hilarious as your favorite sitcom or romantic comedy. Even the most renowned, award winning novels have funny lines for their readers to enjoy if they pay close enough attention. If you don't believe it, here are some of the best literary insults to steal from famous novels that you should make sure to read at some point:
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1. Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut
Need a new way to tell someone that they aren't the smartest? Well, instead of saying something cliche about how they're not the sharpest crayon in the box, you can steal this literary insult from Kurt Vonnegut. If the person you're speaking to is really as dim as you think they are, then you can enjoy the look on their face while they try to figure out what you meant.
2. As You like It by William Shakespeare
Shakespeare is the king of insults. This one is great to use on an acquaintance that you wish you'd never even met. You'd be happier as strangers, because then they would play absolutely no part in your life. If you like this insult, read some Shakespeare, because there are plenty more where that came from.
Shakespeare is the king of insults. This one is great to use on an acquaintance that you wish you'd never even met. You'd be happier as strangers, because then they would play absolutely no part in your life. If you like this insult, read some Shakespeare, because there are plenty more where that came from. Add some dramatic flair to your retort by quoting line-for-line from one of his plays. Trust us, the recipient won't know what hit them.
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3. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
This is one of the most famous lines in literary history. The next time that someone goes on and on about something that you just don't care about, use this line on them. Even if they haven't read the book, they've probably seen the movie or heard the line parodied somewhere in the media, so they'll know exactly what you're talking about.
4. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
If you're looking for a laugh, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy will give you plenty of them. The whole book is humorous, which you can probably tell by this line. The play on the word "unhip" as a body part instead of a level of coolness makes it hilarious.
The zany and irreverent verbiage employed by Adams throughout this cosmic escapade is a testament to the author's ingenuity. Characters like Marvin, the perennially depressed robot, and Zaphod Beeblebrox, the two-headed ex-Galactic President, deliver quips and comebacks with the ease of a buttered Vogon constructor ship gliding through the hyperspace. Douglas Adams orchestrates a symphony of satire that not only pokes fun at humanity but does so with such unexpected turns of phrase that you can't help but snicker, snort, or full-out guffaw.
5. Barrel Fever by David Sedaris
This one's a little crude, but it has some truth behind it. You can't always expect to get sympathy when something bad happens to you, because bad things happen to everybody. It's just something that you'll have to deal with.
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6. Orlando by Virginia Woolf
Virginia Woolf is a woman and proud of it. A lot of her stories are about female struggles, and this quote is a big insult at men. She's commenting on how disgusting it is that men only care about what a woman has to say when it involves them.
7. The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde
The next time you watch a fashion show, you can use this quote. It's a great way to insult someone's taste when you don't want to use the word "ugly" or "ratchet." Keep this one in the back of your mind, because it's sure to come in handy. Plus, quoting Oscar Wilde will always make you look intelligent.
No matter what novel you pick up, there's bound to be some pretty funny lines hidden inside. You just have to pay close attention, or you'll end up glossing right over them. What's your favorite insult of all time that you've seen in a book?
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